Silas is 3 months old

Three months has never before seemed so short and yet so long.

I can’t believe that we have a baby, much less a baby that is ¼ of a year old! Ha. It’s amazing to see pictures of the first time that I saw Silas. I was still lying on the table from the c-section and Jason is proudly holding our beautiful, pudgy little baby; our first family picture. Now, when we look at that picture it is amazing that that was the beginning of the life that we now experience.

Everyone said that I would love this baby more than anything. That it would be instantaneous. That it would be like nothing I’d ever experienced before. I have to say that it didn’t happen exactly that way for me. I don’t know if it was the long hours of waiting, the unexpected c-section, or the fact that it was just something so huge that I couldn’t wrap my brain around it yet. At first, it was like I just loved him as much as I love anyone else in my family. Sure, I loved him a lot. I felt my heart flutter a bit when I looked at him and thought he was really cute. But I didn’t yet feel that sickeningly sweet, butterflies-in-the-stomach, want-to-cry-when-I-look-at-him LOVE.

Let me update you a bit. I feel it now. Every day, the feeling grew stronger. It’s not just how he looks so much like his daddy sometimes, or that I never really liked the shape of my eyes but on him they look beautiful. It’s not just the smell of him, which is like peaches and fresh air mixed together. It’s just not his little froggy body, or the cute rolls of fat just above his chubby little knees, or the dimple in his right cheek. I love it ALL. And he’s ours! Wow.

I promise that every entry into this journal won’t be this mushy. Hopefully a little bit of humor will be interjected every now and then, and I will try not to bore you with how many diapers we change each day (at least seven), how much he eats (a lot), or any little boring thing that happens (actually, I can’t think of anything. It is all very, very interesting).

We love you all,
Stacey, Jason and Silas